Love, Neverending
by breathewithyou94
Summary: Selena knows that things had never really ended between them. Neither girl had actually broken up with the other. But Selena's heart still blamed Demi for all it was worth. So much angst omg. Femslash, Demena, DemixSelena, mentions of Justin. Oh, and some Achele goodness for any Glee, Dianna or Lea fans. T to be safe.


She could recognize the laughter that sounded from across the room. That constantly raspy, throaty, whole-hearted laugh that Selena knew meant that an _actual _friend had said something _actually _funny. She didn't have to-nor want to-turn her head to identify the person, but she did so anyway.

Sometimes Selena wondered if she was a masochist. Normally she wouldn't entertain such thoughts, but as she watched Demi's hair flip through the air as she turned her head, stretching those tauntingly luscious muscles in her neck when she swallowed, Selena mentally noted it as a valid theory. As she turned back to the boy any other girl would positively die to have on her arm, she put one tick mark in the "valid" column.

"Hey, you okay?" Justin asked softly, tilting his head down and looking at her with those wide eyes she knew he thought drove her wild. She conjured all her skills as an actress and put on a winning smile.

"Of course I am, babe, why wouldn't I be?" She knew the use of the pet name would distract him; it supposedly meant that either she wanted to make out, or was just completely infatuated with him at that moment (she'd peeked in a magazine he'd been trying to hide that he was reading).

He smiled and bit his lip-another one of his "charms". He nodded and resumed his dancing, reminding Selena that, yes, they were at a party. A party for _whom_, she wasn't sure of at all. She couldn't remember if she had been the one invited, or Justin, or the both of them. There were no signs around anywhere to clue her in as to what the party was for. She tried to listen to the music in case it was a release party, but over the thumping bass and chatty guests, she could only hear a guitar riff and drums and oh goodness Dianna Agron was standing right in front of-he_llo_, Miss Best Ass in the Universe. Well, it was a tie, Selena supposed…

Her eyes snapped up to the blonde's hazel ones as the gorgeous actress spoke. "Hey, are you guys having a good time? Naya can sure throw a party, can't she?" she said in that smooth, sultry voice of hers. The mention of the other Glee cast member reminded Selena that it was Justin who'd been invited to the party to celebrate the release of Naya Rivera's debut solo album.

"Yeah, we're having a great time," Justin spoke up for them both.

"Is this her music playing?" Selena asked out of pure curiosity.

"Nah, she doesn't want to force people to listen to her music," the blonde replied with an eye roll and a smile. "So did you hear Naya's cover of your song in the prom episode?" she directed to Selena. Justin mumbled in her ear that he was going to get them some drinks and walked away, leaving just the two of them to continue their conversation, which soon turned friendly and comfortable.

"So is Lea here?" Selena asked after a few minutes.

Dianna chuckled, "Of course she's here, who else would I bring?" Her smile dropped off of her face a split second after she finished her sentence. "I-I mean, all the Glee kids are here, why wouldn't she be?"

Selena looked at her quizzically, noticing the blonde's nervously twitching lips and slightly fidgeting hands that were probably itching for a cigarette or glass of wine to hold. She looked up and saw that look in the Glee star's eyes, one that she knew all too well from… _those_ days. Selena cracked a smile to calm the woman's nerves.

"It's okay, I won't tell," she said lowly. "Trust me, I know how to keep a secret." The blonde's eyes widened for a moment at Selena's words, before she relaxed.

"It's okay. Sorry I freaked. It's not like there isn't already a legion of fans that suspect we're together anyways, but… didn't you…" Dianna narrowed her eyes a bit. "You had a… a thing, with your friend, right? Ah, Demi? Were you two actually together, or was that just some hopefuls' rumor?"

Selena felt her heart speed up and skip a beat at the same time. "I-yeah. Yeah, we were. A… a _really_ long time ago." She shook her head and looked down at the ground, wondering how long it took for a boy to get some freaking _punch_.

"Hey," Dianna said, causing Selena to look up, "It's okay; I won't tell. Pinky swear." She smiled and held her right pinky up. Selena laughed with the truest smile she'd worn in a long while as she hooked her pinky with the blonde's.

They broke their hold as Selena's boyfriend walked back with two cups of punch in his hands. "Why would they invite under-twenty-one's to a party with alcohol if it meant that you had to go through a ten-minute-process to confirm your age?" the boy whined, holding out one of the cups to Selena, who took it and downed it gratefully. Talking about Demi made her throat dry.

"Speaking of alcohol, I better get going; I gotta help keep Lea at least semi-sober. She gets a bit, uh, _chatty_ when she's had too much," she said with a pointed look at Selena. After sharing a laugh, Dianna left Selena with her cell number and a request to "call whenever you feel like talking".

_~x~_

"Hey, Sel," a tentative voice said, causing Selena to freeze completely. She took a deep breath in a futile attempt to calm her racing heart and turned around.

"Demi," she said coolly. She tried for a smile, but know that she failed, pretty much epically.

"Jeez, why the cold shoulder?" Demi said, failing at nonchalance, a half-smile on her face that Selena could see didn't reach her eyes.

Selena didn't say anything.

"Look, I know we haven't talked in a while-"

"It hasn't been that long," Selena interrupted.

"A phone call for a ten-minute, overly-polite conversation about the _weather_ doesn't count, Selena," the singer said not unkindly, just slightly sad.

Selena didn't say anything. Demi sighed. "What happened to us, Sel?"

"You _left_, that's what, Demi," the Latina snapped, clenching her eyes shut and folding her arms across her stomach.

"Oh, you mean to _rehab_?" Demi chuckled blandly. "I'm _so sorry_ I was taking _care _of myself, Selena. You _knew_ that, you _called _me!"

"Hey, everything all right?" a new voice asked. Both sets of eyes jumped up to the boy, who had left to get another cup of punch for himself.

"Yeah, Justin everything's fine," Selena said calmly, easily able to save face in front of her boyfriend; she was _used_ to pretending around him. The clueless boy just nodded, bringing a smile back to his face.

"'Sup, Demi?" he said with a bright smile. The girl sent a false smile back his way before excusing herself, leaving the two alone.

_~x~_

Selena knew she shouldn't be punishing Demi. The girl hadn't _actually _done anything. Selena knows that things had never really ended between them. Neither girl had actually broken up with the other. But Selena's heart blamed Demi for all it was worth.

Selena knew that she wasn't actually upset with Demi for going to treatment. There was no way _anyone _could be mad at the girl for taking care of herself. And like Demi had said, Selena had called the singer at the center as soon as she could have, crying her eyes out and making sure they were treating her okay, that she would be all right.

But neither girl had ever mentioned anything about _them_. They had never spoken in reassurance that they would be okay _together_, and that nothing would have changed between them after Demi left the center. And that was a mistake Selena would forever regret.

_~x~_

Selena took a deep breath as she stepped out of the bathroom stall. She was exhausted from actively avoiding Demi all night, both mentally and physically. She walked to the sink and started washing her hands when the door opened. She ignored it, and went to grab a couple of paper towels from the dispenser-

"Is anyone in here?" that familiar, raspy voice called out from behind her, making the Latina freeze once more. When no one answered, Selena hurried to dry her hands and dispose of the paper towels.

She turned around, however, and that gorgeous singer that would _never _leave Selena's mind alone was standing no less than three feet away from her.

"Sel," Demi breathed. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you, Demi-"

"Selena, you know you can't use acting to lie to me." Selena closed her eyes as tightly shut as she could, willing this to not be happening. "What happened to us?"

Selena choked out a watery laugh, cursing herself for becoming so vulnerable so fast. "Ask a hard question, why don't you."

"Alright, fine," Demi huffed, "an easier one: why are you with Justin freaking Bieber?"

Selena swallowed. "Because I love-"

"You don't love him, Selena. Not the way you're telling people you do. He's like your little brother, or do you not remember that conversation?"

"If I recall correctly, we always told people we were like sisters, so really, there's no validity in your argument-"

"What the _hell_, Selena?" Demi burst. "You don't love him, why are you with him? And then you go and start checking out Dianna freaking Agron? What's up with _that_?"

"She's just a friend, it's not even your business!" Selena bit out louder, opening her eyes but not looking directly at the girl in front of her. "I do love him," she said quieter. They stood in front of each other, just breathing.

"Then why don't you love me anym-more?" Demi said shakily, her voice quieter now, as well. "What happened to us, Sel?" she voiced again.

"You _gave up_, that's what, Demi," Selena said heatedly, her voice gaining volume again. "You _always_ just _gave. Up_. Always. You gave up when you were jealous of Taylor Swift; _I_ had to convince _you_ not to leave me, do you remember that? I had to _beg_, and _apologize_, when I hadn't done anything wrong, just because you had given up, just to prove to you that we had something to fight for! You gave up then, just like you gave up after you left the center!" Selena stopped her clenched fists from waving around, instead holding them by her sides. She took a deep breath. "I tried-_so hard_, I tried so hard to keep us together, Dem, but I just-" She brought her hands up to cover her mouth as a sob escaped.

"Sel," Demi said quietly, stepping towards her with outstretched arms.

"No!" Selena nearly shouted, stepping back and pointing at Demi, still not looking directly at her. But Demi didn't stop, and then those glorious arms were around her again and _God_ it had been so long since Selena had felt so _home_.

And then they were kissing, and all Selena could feel was the silk of Demi's lips and fingers touching her. Selena's goal became to show her, to show to Demi what she'd been missing, and she kissed her back with more passion than Justin had ever gotten from her and then her goal changed and she just wanted to show Demi what she was feeling, and she poured every ounce of her being that she could into that kiss, and then she was against the wall, and she could feel air on her thighs as her legs were hiked up around the singer's waist, and it all felt so _good_ and she hadn't felt it in so _long_-

And then reality crashed down. Selena shoved Demi away from her, collapsing back against the door of the stall they had entered sometime between _home_ and _god, yes_.

"No! No, you do _not_ just get to waltz in here, Demetria, and kiss me and tell me you miss me and expect everything to be okay, because it's _not_, Demi, it's _not_! You _left _me! You didn't go to rehab, you _left _me, alone, I had to worry about you alone and deal with everything alone and Justin was just _there _okay, he was _there _when you had gotten out and still hadn't called in weeks, and he is _good _to me okay? I _loved _you, you _left _me, and he _found_ me, okay?"

And then she was falling, but Demi was there to catch her. She was there, she was _physically there_, and kissing her temple, and holding her, and saying it was all right, that they could work it out. And Selena starts to believe her.

And then she hears a boy outside the bathroom asking someone if they've seen Selena Gomez come out yet, and she has to snap out of it because there's a boy outside who's loved her since he was sixteen, even though there was a girl holding her tight who had loved her since they were six.

Because there's no way they can fix things now. It's been too long, and they've both changed immensely in ways that neither girl will ever know because they haven't had a real conversation in over a year.

And Selena just can't handle being broken anymore.

And so Selena tells Demi she should go, and she hasn't noticed till then that Demi's crying, but there's nothing she can do about it. So Demi nods and stands up and says that her number hasn't changed and her phone line is always open if she ever needs her and she walks away, and Selena has to force herself not to break down again when she hears the love of her life casually greet the boy who should be, like there's no animosity held against him.

And so she wipes her tears, fixes her make up, and leaves the bathroom and kisses her perfect boyfriend and tries her damnedest to forget about Demetria Devonne Lovato.


End file.
